Now I am still reeling from a series of deaths of people who loved me, and whom I loved.
Looking back to 2018, and, indeed to August 1 of 2017, I have so many deaths happening in rapid succession.
It wasn't just deaths at a distance anymore, it was both more distant deaths of persons I was normally close to, and the deaths of people with whom I've been very close.
My dearest aunt, my last two and dearest uncles, my dearest mother, and most recently my darling Lynn, the love of my life for close to 32 years.-- these have happened, in rapid and unrelenting procession.
Interspersing them have been deaths of historical personages...John McCain, Barbara Bush and George H. W. Bush, (about whom I've researched and written much).
With these latest deaths, my mother, (June 14 through June 21 for her arrangements) running up until July 25 with the final funeral proceeding for my Lynn, the grief and heartache seem insurmountable.
As noted, it might have been different had there been much break, but a lengthy break, after 2017, there just wasn't. First there were the constant medical crises for my little mom, followed by an immediate set of same for Lynn.
The rate of the deaths might have been easier, had there not been so many disappointmenets, and surprise bad developments, leading to younger deaths than I or others had envisioned.
Now, I am dealing with all those quetions that I've finally been able to put to rest, but coulnd't for a time.
Trying, as well, to recover my nerves from all that late night jumping to wakefulness because one or another beloved person was in some new set of throes, sufferings and threats of imminent death.
One, after another, after another, came the calls, either from loved ones tellimg me the news at a distance, or from medical staff with new news of deeper hospitalization.
So now, as I sit in this cluttered apartment, filled with leftover furniture and small items that were dear to them and so to me, I am working through this as best I can.
